Monday, February 5, 2007

I Don't Want To Be Lukewarm: January 27, 2007

Passion 2007 this year was by far the most eye-opening experience in my Christian life. The first itunes bundle came out and I'm currently listening to the talk that spoke to me the most. Francis Chan I felt like was speaking directly to me. He addressed so many of the issues I had been dealing with.

One thing I had been struggling with was am I truly in love with God. I considered myself a Christian, but I felt like I was just going through the motions. I was going to church, reading my Bible, praying when I could, but I wasn't passionately pursuing Him. During Francis's talk, he revealed that he had dealt with the same thing. That made me sit up and listen. I couldn't believe that someone who seems so godly struggled with the same question. But it was so comforting. I felt like everyone around me had laid down their lives to God and that I was the only one who hadn't fully given themselves to God. I could feel God saying "You're not alone." He went on to talk about how if we are truly in love with God, serving Him shouldn't feel like service. That when you're in love with someone you should want to do everything possible for that person. You should want to give up all of your time, money, and love to the one you're in love with. And that if we are truly in love with God, that's how we should feel. I know I'm not like that. I don't devote nearly enough of my time to God. I often hold back from Him. Especially when it comes to money. It's like, I want to love and serve Him.. but only when it's convenient for me. And that's horrible! But in this country we are so spoiled and so wealthy and so free to do whatever we want that we take God and knowing Him for granted. There are Christians in other countries who are risking thier lives for Christ. They have to fight in order to know Him. We take having the Bible for granted. There are people out there who don't have the Bible in their own language and I have two. There are people who have to meet secretly in order to have a worship service and I've skipped church before because I was too tired to get up. It just made me so angry with myself. I felt/ feel so guilty.

Then Francis asked a huge question.... "Do you really want to know God's will for your life?" I think everyone around me had the same reaction... "Depends". If He were to reveal to you that He wanted you to go to the poorest countries of the world, to give up all that you have and all that you know, to give your LIFE for Him.. would you want to know that? At the time my reaction was "I don't know". It's scary. God has such a huge plan for us and they are drastic plans. Plans that can change this world if only we are willing to give up everything we have for His cause. I know, for me, I hate change. I like my bubble and stepping out of my comfort zone is not something I'm good at. I know there have been many times when I've heard God telling me to talk to a friend about Him and I've scared myself out of it. It's happend too many times. I am so spoiled. I hate to be uncomfortable. So to think that God would send me to a poor country with no air conditioning and bad food terrifies me. I was thinking about this as Francis was talking and I'm like "I don't know if I want to know God's will".

And then through Francis, God opened my eyes to what we recieve if we love Him with all our heart, mind, and soul. What our reward is for living a life devoted to Him.
Revelations 4:2-11 (John has been taken up to heaven and is telling us what he saw)
"At once I was in the Spirt, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper(a red stone) and carnelian (like diamonds). A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne. Surrounding the throne were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightening, rumblings, and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal. In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third has the face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: 'HOLY HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, WHO WAS, AND IS, AND IS TO COME.'
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor, and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever."
And right before that in Chapter 3 Jesus says:
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. He who overcomes, I will grant him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne."
God says that if we give up our lives to Him, if we love Him with all we have.. WE GET TO SIT ON HIS THRONE!!! We get to sit on the throne of the one of jasper, diamonds, lightning, and thunder. The throne of the one who a million angels gather around to praise Him day and night. The throne of the creator of the universe!

I want it. I want it more than anything. I don't care what I have to give up anymore. I just want to be in heaven worshipping my God along side millions of angels and millions of other believers forever and ever and ever. That's all I want. No matter the cost.

If you can, I strongly encourage you to buy the Passion bundle off of Itunes. It's only like $3.50. Francis Chan will blow you away.

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